Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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