I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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