I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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