Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
