oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
