I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
