I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
