let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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