she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
