Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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