there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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