I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
