names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
