note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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