Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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