Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
