Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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