Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
