I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
