I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
