onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
