I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
