Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
