I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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