its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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