My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
