Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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