Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
