College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
