how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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