Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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