your thong is hanging out like whoa
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
