i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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