she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
