There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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