She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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