In the future we'll all be gay
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
