I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
