you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
