Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
