He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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