I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
