you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
