Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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