so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
