I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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