Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
