Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
