I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
