Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
