So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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