the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
