C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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