i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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