would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we're making bets on your personal life
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
