well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
