She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Are my feet made of real feet?
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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