I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Panties = found
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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