You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
