other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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