i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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