We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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