community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
