That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
