Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
