I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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