We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize