I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
