what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
