I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
